The Past is Passed

cryonetics:

snorlaxatives:

*sexually strokes wall until finding light switch*

What a turn on.

1 day ago with 509,215 notes

  • girl: i wish you would love me the way García Lopéz de Cardénas loves the grand canyon
  • boy: but i can only see p/100000000 of you

3 days ago with 160 notes

lexicution3r:

lexicution3r:

my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate.

“How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?”

“How is there NO CHOCOLATE???”

“DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM THE CEILING BUT THERE’S NO CHOCOLATE?”

image

4 days ago with 360,198 notes

its-still-2005:

I need to be stopped
  • Me: I'm sorry
  • Teacher: why?
  • Me: I can't come to class today.
  • Teacher: .... don't
  • Me: because I have a piano recital
  • Teacher: stop.
  • Me: it's scheduled simultaneously at the same time
  • Teacher: dang it. *sits at desk and writes poem* Crimson leaves. Falling.
  • Me: what pen did you use to write that?
  • Teacher: ask about the content of my poem
  • Me: how old are you
  • Teacher: I just want you to see my poem the way that Garcia Lopez De Cardenas saw the grand Canyon
  • Me: I can't I'm from Boston
  • Teacher: I am lucky

4 days ago with 4,256 notes

"don’t call me beautiful
i don’t care
call me intelligent
tell me my laugh is contagious;
that i made you smile
tell me i have something to offer"
Unknown (via psych-facts)

4 days ago with 56,288 notes

em0rexia:

jamtards:

I’m so easily amused oh my fucking god but the pepper what the fuck

image

LoOK HOW SHOCKED THE PLUG SOCKET ON THE WALL IS OMF G

4 days ago with 251,907 notes

  • September: Halloween prep month
  • October: Halloween month
  • November: Christmas prep month and post halloween depression month
  • December: Christmas month
  • Every other month: sad time

4 days ago with 175,313 notes

sh4ne:

robin thicke
fartgallery:

ive finally found a place i could be proud to call home